


Monster Cafe

by SizzlingFaceDonut



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Human, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Enjoy or whatever., Flowey isn't too bad, Flowey likes memes, Good(ish) Flowey, Grillster is precious, I Don't Even Know, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I love how 'This is STUPID' is a common tag., Nonbinary Frisk (Undertale), OOC, Other, Slow Burn, Vine references., because he is one, ngl I am not sure what I'm doing, not much angst for once, so many vines
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-06-27 09:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15682857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SizzlingFaceDonut/pseuds/SizzlingFaceDonut
Summary: When Frisk starts going to a coffee shop, they expected coffee. Instead, they got a agressive lesbian and her shy girlfriend, a sassy teenage boy, a loud but happy six foot tall man and his surprisingly cute brother.And of course, coffee.





	1. "Hi, welcome to Chile's!"

Frisk was tired. College was hard and they haven't had a cup of goood coffee since their favorite coffee shop shut down. Finally, they had time to spare, so they decided to check out that coffee shop downtown. Monster Cafe or whatever.  
It was small, with a lavender store front and various ghostly designs were stenciled on. Yellow flowers were in the flower boxes under the windows. It was honestly pretty cute. Frisk pushed open the wood door, looking around. Fairy lights were hanging from the ceiling, and the walls were painted a dark purple. Behind the counter was a boy, probably around sixteen years old or so. His hair was a bright yellow-gold, spiked up with some sort of products. The flower Sharpie- tatoo winding up his neck looked a lot like the flowers outside honestly. His green eyes flicked up to Frisk. He set his phone down and said in a nasally voice,"Welcome to Chile's." Frisk bit back a laugh. Someone in the back yelled, "Flowey! Don't scare the costumers away."  
The boy, Flowey, rolled his eyes. "She doesn't look too scared, Paps!"  
Frisk spoke up. "They, actually." This was the point where all the other coffee shops had started treating them differently, staring at them like they were a freak. However, Flowey or whatever his name was, he simply nodded. "They don't look too scared." He called again, putting stress on the word they.  
"Sorry about that," He said, shaking his hair out of his eye. "What can I get for you?" They blinked before asking, "Do you have a hot caramel coffee?"  
Flowey nodded. "I'll have that, and... what's cinnamon caramel pie?"  
Flowey shrugged. "This lady, Toriel, she's the owner's ex-wife, she make some every day. It's pretty good, I guess."  
Frisk nodded. "I'll have slice of that."  
Flowey yelled over his shoulder, "Gimme a hot caramel, and a slice of Mom's rubbish."  
A voice yelled back, "Tell us no lies kid, we know you love your mom's pie."  
Flowey rolled his eyes, "Fuck you Sans."  
"Language." 'Sans' came out of the back. He was short, maybe an inch or two taller than Frisk though. His skin was dark, but his hair was bleached near white. His eyes were bizarrely blue. He wore an apron with the words, "I thought it was HUMOROUS." and a skeleton under it. He nodded at Frisk. "Whaddup?" He voice was deep, soothing.  
Frisk kinda half waved. "Not very busy, are you?" Flowey shook his head. "The owner is kinda freaking out."  
They raised an eyebrow. "And you're the owner's son?" He nodded. "As soon as I'm outa college, I'm moving outta this dump. Going to, I dunno, New York." He sighed, "Besides, the shop's going outa business. You're the first customer all day." It was past 3.  
Someone in the back yelled, "Done!" A woman walked out. She had bright red hair pulled back in a ponytail and at least six different peircings. A eyepatch covered her one of her eyes. She dropped the pie and coffee on the counter, nodded to Frisk and went into the back again.  
Frisk payed for their order and left. As they opened the door, Sans spoke up. "Come again soon."  
'Yeah, I think I will.' They thought, shutting the door behind them. 'I think I will.'


	2. Intros... and Vines.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An overveiw of the emploYEETs of Monster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look! Another fic I'm starting instead of finishing my Sanders Sides fic. Yay!

Frisk started coming more and more often to Monster, to the point where they came every morning before classes started and often after classes were over. They had become friends with the employees. Or as Floweys called them, the EmploYEETs.  
Flowey himself was rather rude, with serious sass when necissary. One time, Frisk dared him to be polite to a costumer, and not quote a single meme. They then watched in shock as he was a perfect angel to a lady in her late eighties. His voice took on a slight southern twang and he smiled constantly, displaying perfectly white, straight teeth. When Frisk asked him where the accent came from, he shrugged and said, "I was born in Texas."  
Then there was Sans. He was lazy and quiet. At one point, he said that he saw more than people thought. He was pansexual and constantly make puns. And one time, he calmly said "Oh yeah, everything is coming up aces. Well, ace." He pointed at Flowey, who rolled his eyes.  
Sans' brother Papyrus was not so punny. He was easily six feet tall and thin. He looked older than Sans, but apparently was three years younger. He acted like everyday was Christmas, and had serious self-esteem issues. By that, I mean he thought he was the best 24/7. Although, he also acted like a 6 year old at times. He got furious at Sans' bad puns.  
Their elder brother Wing was so much calmer. He didn't work in the front, instead choosing the solitude of the office instead of people. Frisk didn't meet him and honestly thought he was made up until he happened to come out while they were there. He was nearly as tall as Papyrus, and albino. Two thin scars stretched up from his right eye and down from his left. At first, he seemed strict, and the kind of person who turned out to be homophobic… or until his boyfriend Grillby showed up at least. Then he became downright soft.  
Undyne came next. She was tall and buff, with red hair and peircings. She used to be a cop and lost her eye to a armed burgler. The burgler died. She also seemed like someone who would be agressively homophobic, and she honestly was agressive. But she wasn't homophobic. In fact, she was lesbian.   
Her girlfriend, Alphys worked there too. She was small and blond and genius. She stuttered and couldn't talk to strangers without nearly having a panic attack. Frisk and she became good friends, fangirling about anime endlessly.  
Last but not least, there was Ton, but everyone called him Mettaton. Because he was. If you looked up the definition of gay in a picture dictionary, you'd find him. His dark hair brushed his chin, with pink streaks every here and there. He cross dressed, wearing black and pink blouses and skirts. He wore perfectly applied makeup and talked like he was everything. He called people "Darling" and constantly flirted with guys coming in for coffee.  
The employees were closer than family, even though some of them really were. Frisk slowly grew into that family, they excepted the fact that the workers of the shop were weird. Then again, so were they.


	3. "Stop it. Get some Help."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a group chat thing. Written by a sleep-deprived weirdo who doesn't know how texting works.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ketchup4Blood: Sans  
> ItsWednesday: Flowey  
> Fabulous: Mettaton  
> TasteTheRainbow: Undyne  
> BestGF: Alphys  
> THEGREATPAPYRUS: duh  
> WDGaster: duh  
> DETERMINED_BITCH: Frisk  
> FuckU: Chara

/Ketchup4Blood has added ItsWednesday, Fabulous, TasteTheRainbow, BestGF, THEGREATPAPYRUS, WDGaster, DETERMINED_BITCH and FuckU to a groupchat/

/Ketchup4Blood has named the groupchat Monsters/

Ketchup4Blood: ayyyyyyyyyyye

FuckU: …

ItsWednesday: Stop it. Get some help.

FuckU: So help me God, Flowey, I will…

ItsWednesday: Do what?

FuckU: I will tell everyone your real name.

Ketchup4Blood: gasp

TasteTheRainbow: Gaasp!

BestGF: Gasp!

THEGREATPAPYRUS: GASP

Fabulous: GaAaSp!!!1!

WDGaster: Surprised sounds.

ItsWednesday: You wouldn't!

TasteTheRainbow: I am pretty curious tho.

DETERMINED_BITCH: Um, who're you and how do you know Flowey's name?

FuckU: I'm Chara, Flowey's adopted sister.

DETERMINED_BITCH: Flowey has a sister.

FuckU: Yup. Aint that right…

ItsWednesday: Oh God no.

FuckU: Asriel Aramius Devon Dremmurr?

ItsWednesday: I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

FuckU: At least I'm not a goat.

ItsWednesday: Why is that your go- to reassurance?

THEGREATPAPYRUS: ON THE SUBJECT OF EMBARESSING FAMILY SECRET NAME, SANS MIDDLE NAME IS SERIF.

Ketchup4Blood: you're dead to me.

THEGREATPAPYRUS: WINGS MIDDLE NAME IS DING!

WDGaster: Papyrus!

DETERMINED_BITCH: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sans Serif and WingDings…

WDGaster: Yes, our names are type fonts.

FuckU: This is great.

ItsWednesday: Shut up.

FuckU: Sorry Azzy! :3

/ItsWednesday has left the chat/


	4. "I don't happen to give a flying fuck about what you think of me."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *TW: HOMOPHOBIA*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this one is formatted differently, shut up.

Frisk walked into the shop, their chin length brown hair tousled from the wind. For one brief moment, they got an odd feeling, almost wanting to go back to their dorm... almost. They hadn't had their neccisary morning coffee yet, and Monster Cafe seemed peaceful, with a surprising amount of customers: 3, not including Frisk.

A tall man with a scruffy beard stood in line, surveying the menu. Frisk stood right behind him, trying to pretend that they couldn't smell the stench of gym sock emenating from the man.

Suddenly, Metaton burst out of the back, dressed in black skinny jeans, a hot pink crop-top and pink knee-high high heeled boots. "Sans, dahling, take a break. I got this, don't worry hon."

The shorter boy nodded, plodding into the back. Metaton smiled dazzlingly at the young lady next in line. "What would you like sweety?" 

The man front of Frisk spoke up, his harsh voice cutting through the calm of the shop. "What are you, a faggot or somethin'?" The shop went silent. The tall ravenette froze, grin still on his face. Calmly, but with an undeniable coldness, he replied. "Sorry?"

"I asked if you is a faggot. With that outfit, I don' see how ya could be anythin' else. You are, aren'ta?"

The young woman awkwardly stepped away, as did the teenaged boy behind her. The man and Metaton glared at each other, eyes blazing, jaws clenched. Frisk was uncomfortable. 

Flowey's voice slid in, low, southern and warm as it always was when he was struggling to not be a dick. "Hey look, you don't have to be here. You could just go somewhere else if Mr. Tobitt here is bothering you." The man whirled to face the teen, who was standing in the doorway to the office.

Frisk nearly squeaked in shock. They knew that today was Flowey's day off, but this... this wasn't what they expected. Flowey's hair, free of all the products he used to make it spiky, was white-blond instead of the usual yellow. His face had more freckles than Frisk thought, and his lips were pressed in a cold smile, so far from his comfortable smirk, and he wasn't wearing black for once, instead wearing a huge green sweater and khakis.

The man didn't seem to recognize this miracle for what it was and started ranting at the 16 year old. "I need to speak to your manager. Hell, get the owner in here. They need to see how much they fucked up, hiring this faggot."

Flowey's accent grew thicker as he walked closer. "Well, golly. That's purdy harsh, aint it? Maybe they knew 'bout his sexuality and didn't mind."

"Look kid. No manager, or human being, would hire such a freak. So, get me the manager. He needs to know."

Flowey sucked in a breath. "The manager is busy at the moment, sir. My pops owns this fine establishment, which legally puts me in charge of this situation. My name's Asriel Dreemurr, nice ta meetya." He stepped closer, somehow getting even taller, so that he was nose to nose with the man. "Now, fuck. Off."

"Asriel. We don't speak that way to customers." Standing in the office dorway where Flowey had been seconds before, was Wing, dressed in his usual white turtle-neck and black suit jacket. "Hello, I am Wing Gaster, I hear you have a complaint about one of our employee's sexuality?"

"You the manager of this here shop?"

"Yes."

"Are you aware that this here barista is a faggot?" 

"I'm aware he is homosexual, yes."

"And ya hired him any way? What are you, an idiot?"

"I have master's degrees in astrophysics, engineering, nuclear science and languages, so, no. I most certantly do not consider myself an idiot."

"You a faggot too?"

"I am bisexual, yes."

"…dear God."

"Indeed. Now, may I advise you leave the shop before Asriel here looses his already limited patience?"

"You little fag, do you truly think y'can boss me 'round?"

"Yes, I do. This is, after all, my shop. And, besides, I don't happen to give a flying fuck what you think of me. Undyne!"

Undyne stepped out of the kitchen, cracking her knuckles. The man backed off. "Fine. But you guys just lost a valuable customer!"

Frisk smiled charmingly at him. "You're funny, you know that? They really don't like garbage in their shop, and they definitely don't call it a valuable costumer."

They thought that the sight of him leavingwas probably the best they'd ever seen.


End file.
